I just Watched...Pirates of The Caribbean 4 at 12:34 PM

Well on tuesday i went out for cheep night to see the newest Pirates of the Caribbean movie staring the charming John Depp and sexy Penelope Cruz. Filled with epic swash buckling adventure this movie has summer audiences ready to return to the world of pirate times. Now most 4th entries into trilogies really suck, think Indiana Jones, Terminator ect but did Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides break the curse? find out after the break!

I really enjoyed the first three movies. For me they were the definition of cliché saturday afternoon movies that come on and you can tune in at any point and within 30 seconds can have a very basic idea of what is going on and still enjoy the film. The previous three movies had stellar cast, incredible set pieces and brought back a resurgence of pirate adventures not seen since the 70s. The  thing that the original trilogy had that has changed is that the story was constantly moving forward at an acceptable pace. This worked well but apparently Disney decided that to have a stagnant story jumping for set piece to set piece with an over paid cast and minimal action is better.

Pirates 4 is terrible. It lacks almost all the charm and grit of the previous movies and the series has been modified into a lame money sucking plot where we follow a Jack Sparrow like character for almost three hours and end the movie with almost no reward. Its absolutely terrible. A little fun fact. Johnny Depp made 55 million dollars on this film! Thats right he sold out big time. This would be fine if you couldn't tell that they cut corners to save money but its so obvious. As a budding film maker I should not be able to figure out how they spent the rest of the 100 million dollars on this film. Basically the entire story takes place from one soundstage to the next soundstage to a small location to next small location. Its brutal when the previous movies had such amazing visuals and landscapes and the best ones here are chopper shots going over a forest. 

The story is so convoluted that there are so many cool things jammed in for the sake of it that none of it is ever explained. Magic swords, zombies, shrinking ships, ect. Its sloppy storytelling and I wasnt impressed. In the previous films Jack would get out situations by being crafty here they tried to go to big and the charm is just gone.

They toned down the violence, they toned down the boozes, they toned down the sexuality, and I feel like this entire movies plan was to just coast on the big stars names and the Pirates franchise. Fuck you. I saw it in 2d so didn't have to spend 15 dollars but seriously don't waste your money, its not worth the 5 on tuesdays.

Theater: No

Download: Yes

Stream: Yes

Buy: No

Pass: Yes

3/10